Do You Believe?

I believe in miracles. Most people would call me a hopeless romantic someone not from this world or era. I was put on this earth to show that love can really exist and it doesn't make you any less of a person if you do..something like a cupid on earth..lol. A once upon a time..is the begining of my story and A happily ever after will be the end. Did you ever notice that once you have that someone special in your life every thing else seems to fall into place. You have goals and you want to become the best you can be. Dont get me wrong I am not trying to say that you need someone else to be happy and do right by you, what I am saying is this..If love is what you seek, I promise you will find. Don't ever hurt anyone is the process of finding this sacred emotion, KARMA is a big factor and it will hit you hard if you decided go that route. If it's meant to be with the person you find and you work hard to achieve it, then happiness and your Happily ever after will be the ending to your story as well. Good Luck In The Search Of "Once Upon A Time"!!

Faux-Ships

What is the real meaning of faux-ships? It is when you have someone in your life and you are so happy to have them be apart of you in such a way that you feel nothing but lucky and grateful..and then their true colors come out and thats when you realize they were not what you expected.

It is said that when you have Faux..it usually leaves you wondering of all the wasted time you spent with this person. To want to get things off your chest and to cry in front of this person and reveal what hurts the most in your life, all they can do in return to you is a smile full of gloat? To have the odasity to convince me now after all this time that your life is so perfect and give me your pity? Save it..I guess MISERY REALLY DOES LOVE COMPANY. I've noticed that this faux is always in a rut and never really looks for me, unless they need some cheering up, as if they count on my hardships to make their life so much more valuable, does that make sense?

I am so tired of these faux-ships that I am taking after Santa Claus and checking my list and checking it twice.

Why is it so hard to find real friends, special people that you can laugh with and share happy and sad moments with. Why do friendships have to be like a trial where all they can do is judge you and brand you a type afterwards. Its sickening to me.

Faux-ships..it so wrong to say but this is so true..Most of the people in our life just may be that faux..and I cab guarentee that only a handfull are sincereley there because they love and care about you.

I had this in my mind today and I guess I just needed to vent it out..friendships are so important to me and I care about people so deeply that when I get tricked to believing that they actually care I tend to feel stupid afterwards. Always appreciate those friends you have when you know you have them..as far as those faux...do they really deserve your energy?? Not me..not anymore!

The Mysterious Smile

Who would have thought that this girl who once wrote of darkness may have finally seen a crack of light. A mere glimspe of a future without all the dissapointment and anguish feelings. My face is suddenly feeling a emotion that it is not quite used to yet it feels nice.

A sudden impact of feeling starts to take over this part of my body in such a way..Can it be true? Am I capable of smiling? Who would have thought that lil' old me has felt enough passion today that the world could actually be a great place to be. That all could be right in the world and that for once its a happiness from within where it is kept so deep inside that no one can ruin it with hate or negetivity.

The mysterious smile that lays across my face..it comes from place I yet cant explain but soon will..All I know that this mysterious smile has made me realize that maybe just maybe life can be all you wish it could be...To Be Continued.......

Home?

It isn't the place where I grew up, nor the place where I layed my head when I was a child. It isn't the place where I took my first steps, nor is it the place where my first birthday was celebrated. I cant begin to express to you where my home is..I cant see it.

I can not call it a sactuary, nor can I call it a safe place to be. I can not say that I feel protected here and I cant call it my home sweet home..I cant begin to tell you why this is the place I should be calling home.

This isnt a image I am trying to portray or a exageration of my mind. Almost 29 years of never really feeling that warm and loving togetherness one is born into. Home...how I appreciate that word so much. How I wish and pray for someday I have a place to call home again.

Its the place where I should feel new and refreshed. It should be the place where all my sorrows can dissapear in a single thought. It the place where I should go for comfort and feel my most safest.

My home? My home..My always feel happy place..(I type that with a smile)..the smell of flowers and rain. A ever welcoming place of serenity..a want of mine..so desperatley I seek.
More valuable that money and more priceless than jewels..Home...More than I have ever wanted anything in my whole life.