Inspiration From A Gorgeous Heart

There is a time in our lives where we meet people that make us see the whole world in a different way. Somtimes it doesn't even matter how we meet them or why we meet them but we are sure glad we did. I have been on youtube for a few months now, and I have met some amazing confident and strong women along the way. There is a person that stands out to me because she is just the sweetest most warm hearted girls I've met so far. Her name is Fenix Beauty and she is so amazing. I came into doing the whole youtube thing with no experience what so ever and watching her videos and the facts that she takes the time to reach out to her supporters says soo much about her.

Fenix inspires me to do great things she is a master at her craft. The smile she possesses on camera makes you as a viewer confident as well. I think that it is important in the world that we live in today to value any kind of real friendship, I've learned this year who my real friends are and the sad thing about it is that the friends I thought I had and live so close to me were the ones that disappeared into thin air...and the friendships that I find everlasting are with people who live far away.

Please show your support for Fenix if your ever on youtube..and also she is on the verge on being in Elle Magazine so please vote for her video..I know I will...I will post the link here.... http://videostar.elle.com/videos/73540937001/bettie-pageinspired

I just want to say to Fenix..Thank you so much for being such a great friend and even thought we haven't known eachother for a really long time I feel like I do. I am so proud of you and the steps that you are taking. I wish you all the success in the world and no matter what keep on believing in yourself because at the end of the day...its shows through and can make a difference in someones life the way it did for me!!

It's Me!! No One Else!!

Can some explain something to me? Why is it, when someone lives their life in complete and utter bliss, when someone lives a positive life the other people in the world want you to change? I am so sick and tired of people telling me that I am not being true to myself , that I dont let my true feeling show, that I bottle everything inside and dont show my pain. But honestly, I am so tired of being around the negetive that I have learned to shun it out. I am truly happy with my life..no one is perfect and I know that I'm not but come on! If someone can be strong and not let the weakness of the world drag them down..they shouldn't be critizied for that..they should be admired, appreciated and happy that there is someone that can bring smiles to people's faces. This is what I do, this is how God made me. I am a nice person and though I feel not needing to explain myself, I did feel the right to vent.

I dont know..this is all very annoying. I ended a 20 year long friendship with someone because they were negetive 24/7 and I try to surrpund myself with all good and great things. Why am I being finger-pointed at for being positive? This was something I had on my mind..Thanks for taking the time to read this.

The New Me!

This weekend had really been monumental for me. In all my 29 years of life I have always had long hair. I had a trim here and there but never anything major until now. For the first time ever, I cut my hair short and the response Im getting is so great. I feel like a brand new person. I think this is a change that was a long time coming. I notice how much my confidence went up and they way I am carrying myself with a sense of security. I love the new me.

I feel like everyone woman goes through a faze in life in which they feel they have to upgrade their worth and that is what I feel I did. I am seeing myself in a new light and people are loving that this is going for the better. I know this entry isnt as long as I usually would post but I just wanted to share this moment with you.

New Adventure's

Hey Everyone!

I know it's been a while since I last made an entry here but have you ever had that moment where your mind just goes blank and then when you think you have something to express you start thinking that this is not what your readers signed up for. I know these are our thoughts and we are here to just say what's on our minds but I really want to give you my 100%.

I am starting on a new venture soon, I have been so amazed at how many young girls and woman can express themselves through videos on youtube that I have considered on doing the same. I will be buying a webcam soon and I will begin on a journey of beauty..lol. I cant believe I am going to do this, seeing as that I am the shyest person I know but I think this will be a great experience for me.

My videos will consist of make-up tutorials as well as hair tutorials. My main focus is basic girl talk, I have a 2 year old daughter and I have alot of friends that come to me for advice and seeing as that I dont believe in negetivity and only focus on the positive I think I can be of effect to young girls and woman who would need any kind of advice. Fashion, Love, or anything they want to ask me. I know that there are GREAT gurus out there and I dont want to disrespect anyone because they have been my teachers but I want to focus on affordable makeup and things like that cuz really we live in a world where everything cost a pretty penny.

This entry was just to inform you guys on what my next steps are. I have been in good spirits and in an all around good mood lately so with that said I want to thank you subbz who continue to show me your support and I hope you continue to follow me as I start a brand new page in the life of mines. I dont know how corney im going to be but I bet its going to be loads of fun.

What I've Been Up To!e

Hey Everyone!

I know that I have been using my blog to basically just write poems or random thoughts that come from here and there, so I figured today I would just let you in on a couple of things I have planned and what I have been getting into these past couple of weeks.

I have been doing alot of research as far as looking for work, my daughter who is going on 20 months is almost ready to start daycare and it will be alot easier to go back to work since she will be taken care of. At times, I just feel like taking whatever is offered since the economy isnt that great these days one shall not be picky..its just a tacky trait. I've been leaning towards retail since its the easiest thing to get but I have been thinking alot about going back to school. I went to college before for fashion design and merchandising but tuition was just too expensive and it didnt work out for me. I have been thinking alot about Massage therapy. I love making people feel beautiful and relaxed. I even thought about opening my own spa one day..if its meant to be it will.

Youtube.com has become almost like a best friend to me. I just want to give major props to all the gurus out there that I follow cuz you guys are so talented and have really taught me alot about many things. I never used to wear makeup like that, my mom would even say how pale and sick I look..ok Im hispanic and if I look pale and sick then there is a problem. Anyways, not to sound full of it but I am getting so good at the strokes and using my imagination with it all. I am super excited about it. I love youtube!!

This weekend is Labor Day weekend and I know that there will be alot of BBQ's going on and I just wish everyone a fun and safe weekend. Tomorrow I am leaving to New Jersey to stay a few days with my BFF. I hardley get to see her and when we do its so much fun. I cant wait. I know this entry was pretty much me just rambling but I wanted to just say hello to everyone and thanks for reading my blogs it means so much to me.

Have a great weekend everyone!!

Love Of My Life

I recently came across an old diary entry about one of the most important people in my life. This entry was written in 2003. It amazes me so, just how young my mind was at the time. Though I still feel the same as did back then at this present time, I thought it would be sort of an eye opening thing to do to post it up. Now mind you, I am heavily into the whole English accent thing and the words may sound a bit English lol..but just bare with me..lol.

Leaders of our own path for which people, our fans wish to follow. No matter the problem we always knew what to do. I shelter thee to be happy and warm while he shelters me with protection and loyalty. For yes, In this world we reside in I may be a pauper but for a dream well lived such as this one, I am royalty with decendants. While my one true love is off fighting for the freedom of his people and we have bestowed up him the courage and fight to gain all trust! You see, Real life is not but a short introduction away. What a fine line between surrelism and reality, its like you can almost see it. Expression is one of the most many achievments, I cant reveal to you how many times a day I'd wish upon a star the good thing is I no longer have to wish on that star for my Draco (My Boo LOL) already came true. I do continue to wish for him but no longer for myself, you see Im happy when he is. Im lucky and fortunate to say that Draco taught me everything I know and then some. I notice each day and night that I change and Im never going to be the same again. Thats a beautiful thing patiently waiting for the arrival of my chosen one. Life is a journey, a journey well lived? Yes! I would do it all over again.

For I fear this is not only the beginning to my story but im back to the intro, I relive the happiness all over again. What a life I have lived, what a tale I cant wait to be unfold but all in good time..Patience is the virtue to all great things. In my decision to choose the road Im on. I shall not make a U-turn, I will make not reverse nor will I ever go back to where I came from.

A couple of years ago, I imagined all the best things in my life to happen, would just happen all at once, that all these dreams of mine would soar the wild blue door and open all these possibilities. I believed in the sweetest kind of dream in which you can smile about the bad later! But at this moment of my life..I shall never see a gray sky but the rainbow over looking the most beautiful ocean..Love makes me feel this way..Draco is that reason.

In Dedication To...

I remember as a young child, I would look out the window and daydream about what I wanted to be when I grew up. That dream was to be a fashion designer. I used to cut old clothes and make outfits for my barbies or my Lil' Miss Perfect doll and just remember how proud I used to feel when the final garment was done and ready for show. I remember my first sketch..she had a cup head and triangles for a body..lol..I laugh because I was so determined to make this drawing as high fashion as possible and I was only 7 years old. In school everyone knew this is what I wanted to be, and then there were some people who thought I was a great writer. I used to write alot of poems and people including my teachers loved when I used to get up and read what I wrote. Recently, a old elementary classmate of mines, who I used to have a huge crush on told me that til this day he remembers those poems, how brave he thought I was to get up in front of the whole class and declare my love to him through my poems, I was only 10 years old.

I always go back to fashion though. I love the way I can combine colors and create new ideas and then call them my own. I admire the presentation and effort put into some of these designs you see now a days. The work and sweat these artist put into so that their customers have the best experience when wearing their creations. Thats what I wanted, and in many ways..I think I still do. Its been a long time since my last sketch and lately I have felt like I had to say goodbye to an old friend. I used to get so lost when I got into drawing and lately I will get lost when I start writing as I am in a zone already as I type this blog. I guess it goes by

how it makes you feel...Its a part of me I know it is. I just dont know how to get it back. 

I respect those who have gone after there dreams and dedicated there life into becoming something..there is a girl who I recently discovered and has become a role model to me and she is younger than I. She has established her life in such a genuine way and makes me want to put that extra effort into myself. Its so weird how a person you have never met can affect your life in such a positive way and make you want to be a better version of yourself. I want to thank her if she is to ever read this blog Dulcecandy87. 

I want to thank you for being a inspiration to me. I went online looking for something specific and instead I found a person who is living her dream. I admire you so much and hopes to one day feel proud and confident in my everyday steps as you are. I wish the best for myself now and its because you opened my eyes to be a better version of myself for me and my daughter. Thank you for your inspiration and for opening your love of all that is you with me and  the world. I dedicate this blog to you!

Fashion and writing are one of the two loves of my life and I let it leave me. I want to regain that again, I want to regain that inspiration I had for my love of all that is me. I will continue to take those steps to find myself again. I want to be that girl that can say "This is what I love and this is what I am about, and this is WHO I AM!!! Here is to challenges and to finding my calling.